If you are a human, you are bound to fall in love at least once in your life. No harm and in fact it is good for you!
Your happiness get pumped off and you will be like flying in the seventh heaven. So, that definitely good for your health. What happens if things don’t work the way you want? Come on, let’s face it. Everything does not turn out the way we need it to be. So, we need to know and gear up for the bad side also.
Research has done all the homework for us, and this makes it easy for us to figure out the why’s and how’s of any relationship. Why don’t you take a look at the relationship based researches along with me?
I am sure that would give you a better idea of how to handle a relationship better. If yours is a sinking ship now, let’s check out ways to make it sail in the right direction!
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Do you know that all relations are like frivolous tidal waves? They are bound to ebb and then surge back in full force again. So, relax, if it slackens, give the hurt to subside and wrap you again in live!
A Love quote to start off the romance: “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” This is one beautiful romantic quote by Dr. Seuss.
So true, and from this we know love is something that is very hard to express. But then again, there is no relationship that is 100% survivable and surely there are reasons for that. Here no fingers are pointed to any of men or women out here, but these are basic researches that have established sound proof on why relationships could fail or live.
# 1 Unhappy But Still Moving On?
There are times that when you maybe in a relationship, but it won’t be as satisfying as you feel. On the contrary, you still stick to it. Why is that?
What does Research have to say?
At the University of Utah , it had been found that:
- There could be many people who work their way through unsatisfactory relationships, but they still hold onto together.
- It was then they questioned as to why – people don’t leave their partner is such a situation.
- The research revealed a simple and humble truth: Though unsatisfying, a separation would probably devastate the other partner. This is something that cannot be tolerated by people who love them.
- So, they move on in this dull and lifeless relationship.
- The research show that partners who really love their better half – often do not consider their sorrows as big. Instead, place the life, happiness and desires of their partner much above them.
- So, in due course of time, they do feel upset and bored, but accept that unhappy space as part of their life.
- It is believed that the more one partner feels that the relationship is a necessity for the other person- they tend to NOT think about breakup.
Call it concern, ethics, or happiness? ..But isn’t that sweet of them? I only wish more people were like that. So, giving and caring!
Another reason that was pointed out was that:
If the person feels that once they step out of this relationship, they are bound to remain single and even more lonely- then probably they would settle for this only.
The Loopholes in this Research:
- Though the research gives such findings, they feel that all such thoughts could be one sided. One affectionate or over concerned partner may be under the pretext that the other is sincere and cannot face a breakup.
- You never know if they are acting right under their nose or even if they are really committed!
- They stick on in the hope that one day- the other person may improve and life may get happier one fine day.
- In reality, such changes happen very rarely and the end result is that one partner has to suffer on a lifelong basis.
# 2 Shout To the Sexist Men Out There: Don’t Underestimate Your Power!
Hey guys, if you think that your sexist attitude is really great, time to kick that out of your mind. Coz, research states that it could have a lot of negative effects on the partner. If you have not known that, you might wanna take a look at this one!
What does Research have to say?
- Men who possess sexist attitudes often never realize that they could be constantly hurting their partner while they are in a romantic relationship.
- This could end in a lot of aggression, or control or even conflict to their female partners and that overtime could tamper a relationship.
- When love is in the picture, a simple shot of aggressive behaviour can spoil even the thickest of relationships over time.
- Too much of power can make female partners suffocated and overtime they will have chances to withdraw from their commitment.
- Researchers reason out that men who engage in a sexist behaviour are those who always think that women cannot be trusted and in fact wander off if given a chance.
The Other Side of the Story
Well, have your heard about hostile sexism?
- This is a phenomenon when women want to control over men. This could be in professional and even in personal scenarios.
- In this case, if the men are those who have sexist views, then there are chances that they cannot handle such a control rich behaviour from the side of a woman.
- They fear that they will lose the essence of power to a woman. This fear increases in a personal relationship rather than a professional relationship.
Sexism is never preferred!
When your partner controls you over minor opinions, relationship satisfaction criterion, feeling of security, and even communication with other people- then you begin to feel uncomfortable.
That will make anyone think twice about continuity the relationship. In short, when you are a guy, or a gal you think to respect and feel for the partner. A Hitler styles relationship will never work out for long.
# 3 A relationship is never a switch, so don’t treat it like one.
How many times have you decided to call off a relationship for good? One time, few times, or maybe countless? It doesn’t the number of times. What matters, is that – will this breaks tamper the relationship?
What does Research have to say?
At the University of Missouri-Columbia , it was found that relationships that can on and off like a switch is never to stay for long.
- When a relationship is not stable, and both the partners are still deciding on whether this will work out- it causes a lot of mental strain on the couple.
- When they constantly go off- they have huge depression problems and the same time they get back- you will be able to notice tremendous level of happiness between thme.
- This sudden shift of emotions is not good for the mind and body and so it must be controlled or rather stabilized.
Any solutions for this?
Often such problems arise due to poor communication and not being to understand what the problem is.
More of them need to sit and analyze the problem together. Unexplained breakups can create a lot of misunderstandings.
Henry Winkler, once rightly said, “Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
Isn’t it true? You or I cannot just assume things out of nothin. It is wrong and it will hurt both the partners in that relationship.
Plus, unless you let your partner know the problem- how can they even change their mistakes?
Once that has been explained, and the still the old melodrama continues- it is time to bid a firm and permanent bye and shake of good luck to your ex- loved one.
# 4 Assumptions can be Deadly!
This is for those who are in a fairy take relationship. Do you ever think that your partner would dump you? Do you feel that you may be single at one point of this relationship? Maybe that fear needs to be put aside. This research will explain.
What does Research have to say?
A the Springers , a group of researchers have a few points on relationship and this may leave you wondering on the concept of love and breakups.
- If you ever feel the pinch of love being from your hands and life, then it does influence the way you love the person (do you think so?)
- Well, I never suspected anything of that sort, but this research gave them reasoning for the same.
- Nobody wants their dream relationship and romantic journey to end in life.
- When they are sure that their relationship is to stay, they exhibit more intense levels of lve.
- Whereas, once doubt sets in, people wonder as to whether they should a lot of time and mind into this relation.
- Also, naturally they become reluctant to spend time and patience to make things work out in that relation.
Homework for the Mind
Well, this sort of go back feel is a game of the mind of a human being.
For example, if you have had a bad experience with someone like a cheat case or a fight- you tend to avoid further situations where you need to him/ her in life.
- That reluctance has been formed out of previous experiences.
- This is the same sort of dilemma the mind faces when they are confronted with a doubtful relationship.
- Once that doubt sets in, the level of commitment and communication automatically fills in the mind.
- The so called positive feelings for your loved one then converts to hard negative feelings and these are quite hard to overcome or forget.
- Most of the time, all this happenings through any life experiences. People who breakup after giving a high level of commitment, tend to slouch into depression and distress.
- But, if they are dear friends around, it is advised that friends and family talk and engage them in other activities to get them back on the energetic positive track of life.
What Cues Have you Taken from Relationship Researches?
Heard this quote?
“Love is a game that two can play and both can win.” by Eva Gabor.
Relationship, romance and love are all same sides of the coin. They on a wholesome perspective are beautiful and one of the most elegant emotions that have been created by the Creator.
But overtime, people have turned in their selfish indulgences and interests over simple and humble feelings in life.
This is what creates hurt, neglect and sadness among couples.
As the quote states, this is the only thing in life that could create a gain for both of you or else create a pain for both of you. So, ultimately it is for you to decide. Don’t always be loggerheads with each otehr in life.
Instead, if you learn to give in, forgive, and give the due love, respect and attention to your special partner- life will be such a blissful world.
If you have a heart that weighs a ton, whenever you deal with the person- then maybe he/she is not the one for you. So, leave and move on!
And personally, give your mind the courage to think that this will work out and I know it is not easy- but Love is not a one -man show!
You both have to cook the broth of life together- to get the life and happiness you both would have dreamt for!